It's that time of year again, when the aroma of fresh donuts merges with generator diesel, when incense, Lynx and human ordure create an hallucinogenic triumvirate of sensaround magnificence. It's time to stumble across a ploughed field with a paper cup of warm lager and a cold burrito, lose your phone, squint at the stage and say to someone, 'Who's on now?' And it is fantastic..I will personally never forget the indefatigable spirit of one man who sat Buddha-like on his tent groundsheet as it was slowly borne away on a river of liquid mud, his can of Tennents held aloft in defiance.
Some Feeble Soles choose not to go to Festivalles for fear of Scurvie, or the Dredded Pox.. whiche they are more likelie to contracte in the Stinkinge Metropolitan squalor of Londone. Although the Facilityes are more plentifulle admytedly.
Comments (32)
So Bill, will you be stroking your beard in a field this summer as a "warm up"?
Posted by Jonathan Taylor | June 3, 2007 11:29 PM
Posted on June 3, 2007 23:29
Hey, I come from Edinburgh, please don't mention the word festival yet, I'm just not ready...I'm still practicing how to shout "Please stay on the pavement! The buses won't go around you!" in Spanish & Italian...
Posted by bassisgood | June 4, 2007 2:59 AM
Posted on June 4, 2007 02:59
ye solde it to me, all the glamoure, all the pageantry, all the portaloo splendour!
Posted by ~cuttsy~ | June 4, 2007 9:56 AM
Posted on June 4, 2007 09:56
Bring on Glastonbury Bill!
Posted by ben hewitt | June 5, 2007 3:13 PM
Posted on June 5, 2007 15:13
Look Bill!
Someone's tried it! you said that we must lunge wildly at the pope before we die!
do you realise the power you wield?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/6726441.stm
Posted by ken | June 6, 2007 3:08 PM
Posted on June 6, 2007 15:08
Bill was this you??!! Well done for ticking that one of the list!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/6
726441.stm
Posted by Rob King | June 6, 2007 4:00 PM
Posted on June 6, 2007 16:00
Ahh, festivals. I do so love the memories of long ago festivals, humming rage over a lost penny whilst searching futiley for left sandals and car keys.
Bring on the scurvy, I say, for sensory recollection is a grand thing, and not to be thwarted over petty concern for health and safety.
Much love and luck, says I, (creepily, for you have no idea who I am).
Posted by Stephanie | June 9, 2007 2:49 AM
Posted on June 9, 2007 02:49
I, like you, look like a character from asterix.
As a successful walrus face, you afford me great succour and largess. Your mix of country ribbaldry and urbane savvy (what is the noun for savvy?) together with your werewolf appearance helps has gone a long way to helping me grow as a rennaisance man after your own heart. Your moustache forms the bridge over which the intellectual shakes hands (somewhere near the nostrils)with the viking in all of us.
Posted by neil | June 11, 2007 1:57 PM
Posted on June 11, 2007 13:57
ignore the e-mail adress i only have it to take the mickey out of those retards called emo's.
the only festival i can afford to go to this year is the pump in trowbridge how annoying and all i wanted to do was go to download and come back feeling like a pig had gone to the toilet in my head
oh and hear good music, how annoying is that!
Posted by mel | June 16, 2007 4:07 PM
Posted on June 16, 2007 16:07
Hi Bill, i would like to know if you had any thoughts on appering at Reading Festival?
Posted by Craig Robinson | June 17, 2007 6:57 PM
Posted on June 17, 2007 18:57
I so totally know of which you speak. Brings back fond memories of my...early twenties, when I used to actually go to these things.
And any entry of yours that slowly and inexplicably dissolves into Ye Olde Middylle Englysh is going to make me giggle for the next ten minutes straight.
Posted by mz. m | June 18, 2007 9:41 PM
Posted on June 18, 2007 21:41
You're so cool, Billy.
Will you marry me?
Posted by Amy | June 19, 2007 3:12 PM
Posted on June 19, 2007 15:12
saw u at glastonbury 2003 & 2004 but could not find u 05. really excited bout this year, i'll be the girl in the bill bailey for librarian t-shirt :)
Posted by leanne palmer | June 19, 2007 5:22 PM
Posted on June 19, 2007 17:22
So does this mean you are playing Glastonbury? See you there if you are! I'll be in the cinema field later today.
Posted by Nikki | June 20, 2007 9:35 AM
Posted on June 20, 2007 09:35
Just wanted to say cheers Bill for making my Glastonbury complete. Watched you in the Cabaret tent and you were hilarious from start to finish.
Posted by Jamie | June 25, 2007 11:29 PM
Posted on June 25, 2007 23:29
I love everyone's funny comments. I am not funny. Also, I do not know what a URL is, nor an html tag so I obviously have no style either. Perhaps it is because I am from the West Country?! Which is perhaps the answer to my question...why no West Country venues on your next tour?? Cardiff doesn't count - I am talking Trowbridge Village Pump...or at least Bristol. Have you forsaken us Bill?
Posted by Bex | June 26, 2007 3:22 PM
Posted on June 26, 2007 15:22
I've got ham, but I'm not a hamster!
..That phrase will live with me forever.
Awesome atmosphere and performance in the cabaret tent on sunday.
Posted by Keith Cassidy | June 26, 2007 10:07 PM
Posted on June 26, 2007 22:07
Saw you at Glastonbury! "I've got ham but I'm not a hamster".. pure genius!
Posted by Rich | June 27, 2007 1:01 PM
Posted on June 27, 2007 13:01
Saw you at Glastonbury, it made our whole festival! And we didn't even get wet cos we were so near the front :)
The trek back to the tent was another story...
Posted by Ryan | June 28, 2007 5:18 PM
Posted on June 28, 2007 17:18
BILL BAILEY FOR EUROVISION!!!! Come on Bill, represent Britain, pleeeeeeeeease!!!!
(all in favour, join the petition now!- add your name below!!) ;)
Posted by Dave Nicho | July 3, 2007 10:57 AM
Posted on July 3, 2007 10:57
Totally OT -
Happy National Shed Week!
Squ'Wee
Posted by Squeakywee | July 3, 2007 11:27 AM
Posted on July 3, 2007 11:27
You were spot on as the last act at glastonbury - thank you! You were so funny and made us little mud monkeys very happy :)
Posted by Joelene | July 4, 2007 10:42 PM
Posted on July 4, 2007 22:42
I got ham but i'm not a hamster! Thanks for being you at Latitude, and i hope you're ok after that theremin explosion.
Posted by Jack | July 16, 2007 5:33 PM
Posted on July 16, 2007 17:33
I've got sand but i'm not a sandwich
Posted by kev | July 17, 2007 12:13 PM
Posted on July 17, 2007 12:13
How did you like Beautiful Days? I think you fit right in there. Much more of a hippy festie with more wizarding folk than you can shake a staff at. Any hope of you returning again in future years or now that you are doing a "stadium" tour will you just be too popular by then?
Loop
x
Posted by Loop | August 20, 2007 4:16 PM
Posted on August 20, 2007 16:16
bill your great cant wait to see you at the nia in november. just wish you would do the eurovision.
Posted by kez | September 18, 2007 6:56 PM
Posted on September 18, 2007 18:56
Bill,
When are you coming to Aberdeen next, I missed you the last time you were here and am greatly saddened by this travesty.
Perhaps you could contact me letting me know of your next trip to the north east or maybe you'd like to do a gig in my back garden, I'd obviously supply you with plenty of beer and barrel loads of mirth.
Posted by Bowers | October 16, 2007 11:05 AM
Posted on October 16, 2007 11:05
Belfast was not "Shite" it was brilliant!!!!
Cheers
Paul
Posted by Paul Sexton | October 31, 2007 11:56 PM
Posted on October 31, 2007 23:56
Just seen Bill last night at the Whitla Hall in Belfast as part of the Queens Festival. It was absolutely brilliant!!
"who da pope?
yeah, im da pope!"
Posted by Gary McAreavey | November 2, 2007 12:46 PM
Posted on November 2, 2007 12:46
What was going on with the sound at Glasto? Couldn't hear diddly squat.
Posted by gobzzzie | November 8, 2007 12:41 PM
Posted on November 8, 2007 12:41
We love you, Bill Bailey. We want to hug your legs!
PS. Please write back as we are desperate for attention and crave your recognition...
Yours Crotchgrabbingly,
Malvern and Heinz
Posted by CUSTARD CREAM | February 7, 2008 5:54 AM
Posted on February 7, 2008 05:54
Hello Mr. Bailey
I'm 17 and live in Ireland and have never experienced any festival like glastonbury but hopefully i'll get to see your stand up live in the future :)
I'm a huge fan(not literally coz i'm a bit vertically challenged)but please don't retire or something before i get to see you!!!
Evelyn
Posted by Evelyn | February 18, 2008 2:53 PM
Posted on February 18, 2008 14:53