Bill's Blog

D.I.D.

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 13:53:29 +0000

It was quite a thrill to be asked on to Desert Island Discs, a bit like getting a knighthood without the militaristic connotations. An endorsement if you will, a validation.. I've been a fan of 'Discs for quite some time, and the castaways are usually venerable politicians and esteemed writers, Nobel Prize Winners, former Secretary Generals of the UN, and captains of industry, basically some right top bananas. I'm guessing probably not many picked The Undertones. You can get my choices from the BBC website, but those 8 are the short list, I had to leave off quite a bit as you can imagine. Had to choose between Ever Fallen In Love and Teenage Kicks, the latter got the nod, only because I saw The Undertones at the Colston Hall and 'Desert is quite a personal journey through your life, and this was a vivid memory (if anyone was there, or can remember the year then let me know - would love to hear your thoughts on it). I seriously did want to be the Talking Heads keyboard player, and I will maybe try and shout that out at The Tom Tom Club gig at Meltdown next week..Would have loved to put in some of David Byrne's solo stuff also.. The King Curtis track, Memphis Soul Stew is a corker, and is about 7 minutes long, so they only had time to play the last 2 (instrumental minutes) but check out the whole track, because the best bit is at the beginning when King is introducing the band members one by one, as they start playing as 'ingredients' in the 'stew'...' a little pinch of Mississipi congeros' .. 'gimme 'bout a half a teacup..of bass!' - brilliant. We played a couple of Bowie covers in my first band, but Rebel made it in over Suffragette City, or Moonage Daydream. I was such a Pretenders fan, so that was a hard choice, Kid, Up the Neck, I Go to Sleep, Private Life, Message of Love, Back on the Chain Gang the list was going on..eventually went with Talk of the Town, great song and is typical of the sound, Chrissie Hynde's classic vocal and James Honeyman-Scott's jangling rich guitar sound - don't get me started - I'll be here all day and the chameleons won't feed themselves.. hope to see you all at a large temporary marquee-type structure somewhere soon, 'Maybe tomorrow, maybe someday..' b

May Update

Wed, 14 May 2008 12:03:45 +0000

Hello, Got delayed in Indonesia due to our booking being lost to the ether..just vanished into cyberspace like a virtual muntjak. We flew into Terminal 5 with some trepidation but amazingly all went smoothly, bar a wait for the bags of an hour. During which we were funnelled like reluctant woodlice to a Costa Coffee, where the ridged cups of milky despair are routinely doled out by unsmiling Slavic frothbots.. The building itself looks impressive, huge shiny pillars arching upwards, connected with great bolts and plates to other equally huge struts that are slightly on a slant to the uprights. This does give the dizzying impression that the whole structure is about to fall over, so the combination of that and the coughey combines to create nausea. My advice for travellers to T5, keep your eyes and mouth clamped shut and hope for the assistance of strangers. What is this lunacy of making people pledge allegiance to the Queen? I could understand if it was allegiance to the band Queen. Every day before assembly in schools up and down the land, pupil and teacher alike stand and chant "Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality". I could get behind that. All is busy here at Tinsel Towers. The Wormes are burrowing round the clock to prepare the Tinselworm @ Wembley dvd for your perusal. I have begun a new diet, no carbs, no fruit, just honey, cereal and a box of pralines every other day to stop you from fainting. Last night I performed at the benefit for SOS Sumatran Orangutan Society at the Lyceum. And got to duet with Chrisse Hynde. What a great honour, and what larks! The founder of SOS is a remarkable woman called Lucy Wisdom and you can do me a favour here if you like. She has been nominated for an Ethical Business award by the magazine Eve, and you can vote for her via a website www.activatemoney.com, click on 'Triodos Awards - Women in Ethical Business' then click on 'EVE voting and prize draw'. Click on Lucy's name and leave an email address. Eh voila! Ta very much. It would be wonderful recognition for both her and SOS.

March Update

Sat, 15 Mar 2008 12:47:00 +0000

It's been a busy time these last few weeks. Finished the Museum of Curiosity, which is going out now and what a lark that was. The WSPA benefit at the Hammersmith Apollo ended with my 4 year old son booting Robin Ince up the arse as he danced in a bear suit for the amusement of many people, not least myself. The Helper Wormes have been most obliging and have woven a new, static site to go alongside the twiddly one. For those of you without Flash, or if your diary is so busy you can't bear to wait, you can get at the stuff quicker. Been at a radio recording for The Ragged Trouserd Philanthropists all week, something which Johnny Vegas has organised and asked me to do, and I was glad to oblige. During which , me and Kevin The Actor Eldon nipped into the Toxick Caverne of Woe, the West End to be photographed wearing huge orange pants bearing the slogan Fair Trial My Arse, to keep up the pressure on the gov. about the poor sods still banged up in Guantanamo without trial. Clive Stafford-Smith of Reprieve was accused of trying to smuggle pants into the inmates - don't know exactly what they thought, whether these were laser pants , or special inflatable pants they could swim away on. The thing was hosted by the lovely people at LUSH so much love and respect to the alluring soap-bomb wranglers. Also did a photo shoot for the forthcoming doco I made about Stonehenge for The History Channel. They had me got up in a load of hippy gear leaping about in a disused car-factory in Ladbroke Grove, which is probably what I would have been doing on a day-off anyway. Could also be doing Tinselworm Part 2 in the West End of London this Autumn, as well as sorting out the OZ and NZ dates.. all go, no rest for the bearded. Onward onward I say. BB

International Animal Rescue Appeal

Fri, 20 Jul 2007 17:00:07 +0000

IAR has set up sanctuaries in India to look after the rescued bears, but it desperately needs further funding to provide extra land and facilities . In the past four years they have already rescued nearly 400 bears, but it is estimated that there may still be several hundred being 'danced' on the streets. I went to India in November 2005 with IAR and visited the sanctuaries, which are fantastic havens for these poor creatures. The bears might live for up to forty years, but once they're taken off the streets, they can't be released back into the wild as they have become too accustomed to human contact. These sanctuaries are vital not just for the well-being of these damaged animals, but for their survival. If you want to find out more about the work of International Animal Rescue, or support them with a donation and help to end the suffering of the dancing bears, go to the website www.iar.org.uk or give them a ring on 01825 767688 and tell them I sent you!

Festivals

Sun, 20 May 2007 23:24:31 +0000

It's that time of year again, when the aroma of fresh donuts merges with generator diesel, when incense, Lynx and human ordure create an hallucinogenic triumvirate of sensaround magnificence. It's time to stumble across a ploughed field with a paper cup of warm lager and a cold burrito, lose your phone, squint at the stage and say to someone, 'Who's on now?' And it is fantastic..I will personally never forget the indefatigable spirit of one man who sat Buddha-like on his tent groundsheet as it was slowly borne away on a river of liquid mud, his can of Tennents held aloft in defiance. Some Feeble Soles choose not to go to Festivalles for fear of Scurvie, or the Dredded Pox.. whiche they are more likelie to contracte in the Stinkinge Metropolitan squalor of Londone. Although the Facilityes are more plentifulle admytedly.

OrangAid

Tue, 15 May 2007 17:33:43 +0000

A big ol hairy thanks to all who attended the gig at the Lyceum. Good to see so many of you and it'll be a massive help to SOS, the Sumatran Orangutan Society. If, like me, you want to do all you can to save these lovely great ginger apes, check out their website and get involved.. Ta! I don't know what the woman from Belgium was on about, but maybe that's not a bad thing..

Das TinselWurm 2007

Sun, 22 Apr 2007 22:42:53 +0000

Bonsoir les bloggistes. Here in the b.o.d. ( bunker of dreams) v.excited about the playing of the gigs in the enormodomes. But, I hear you say, what about the fact they are humungoid sheds such as you might process crabs in? Will that impair our viewing pleasure? Well, no because there'll be equally gargantuan screens and amplificatorio the like of which has never been all plugged in at the same time to normalise the gig-watching experience (and a small crab-shelling area). My aim for this tour is a show that could not be seen in any other venue, or fishing facility, that will transmogrify even the most Bond-like uber-barn with huge shiny things and massive lights and a gong and everything! Who knows, maybe even a fully operational Hosenbugler! Crab Nebula! I don't know why I said that. busy week coming up what with doing Johnathan Ross's show and all. Where are the bees? Eh? Answer me that..you coiffured dandy I will say.. On with Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst from Spidey 3. Note. Must try not to blame them for the bee-exodus.. onward to victory Bill

BBC Gigs

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 13:00:00 +0000

A huge thank you to all those who came to the BBC gigs. Watford, you were magnificent! QEH you rocked also! In a respectful way! Listen out for your own interesting laughs/coughs/ringtones when it's broadcast on Friday at 7pm on Radio 3 as part of Comic Relief. The event was not filmed, unfortunately, but we hope to rectify this later in the year when we take the show to some more venues round Britain. Details will follow. Bill

Oz Tour

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 12:00:00 +0000

The tour of Australia and New Zealand that was planned for this year will be postponed due to work commitments. It's being rescheduled for early in 2008. Bill

Belated Happy New Year

Wed, 07 Feb 2007 12:42:00 +0000

Yes, what with the Pinter on and the BBC gigs imminent I haven't got round to wishing everyone a Happy New Year yet, so as the freezing damp of February has cocooned me indoors, I thought I'd take this opportunity. Just a quick note to let you all know about our New Year experience. We played Balderdash a lot, and stayed indoors. Making up nonsense while eating tiny bits of icing. Marvellous! On New Years Day, I had this brilliant, some would say ill-advised, nay reckless, plan to have a barbecue on the beach. In the shed I had found one of those self-lighting types, which have a brief incineration window of 18 seconds, during which time if you lean over they singe your eyebrows off. Nothing cooked as we all huddled in the dunes, and there was plenty of helpful advice, as in 'why don't we go to a cafe?' . The biting wind did nothing to help, and coated everything in a fine layer of sand. It was a triumph! Then we went to a cafe. speak soon Bill

Catching up

Fri, 01 Dec 2006 10:00:00 +0000

Well, hello all. It's been a while I know, and yet a year these days flies by quicker than a bumble bee on an urgent errand. And bees have loomed large on my calendar. Well I say bees, I mean lizards, pine martens etc. Filming Wild Thing I Love You has been a revelation, and an education. I've waded up to my armpits in cold pond water to build a three-bedroomed home for an otter, and swung from a crane high above Cheddar to build an aerial walkway for dormice. These are things you just don't get to do normally. In Northumberland where we building the otter walkway, one story brightened up the grey rainy days no end. As there were dangerous diggers and tractors which a frail TV presenter could easily trip and fall under and become trapped due to their prancing media stupidity, we had to have St John Ambulance personnel on hand the whole time. Talking to them they said the worst time was actually in the summer. The bright yellow colour of their jackets is apparently the exact shade which drives wasps into a frenzy, so most of their work involves 'treating wor selves for bee and wasp stings and that'. April I was in Los Angeles doing a show at UCLA. The first night did not bode well. There had been huge thunderstorms and torrential rain for days, and rather like our inability to deal with snow, LA was totally unprepared. Mudslides, floods, train wrecks rocked the state of California. But underneath my venue, of course was a deep fissure caused by an earthquake below which ran an underground river. When the water level rose it had nowhere to go except the front 8 rows of my theatre which were underwater during the sound check. The theatre was nearly dry by the end of the first week..I had a cold and the theremin was going loopy with the humidity. It wasn't all damp and depressing though. I got to meet a real Python, Eric Idle who came to my show. What a charming and delightful man he is, and quite hard for me to actually talk in proper sentences as a lifelong Python fan.. Part 2 to follow, Pax BB