Eurovision

Posted by on July 21st, 2007

What the public wants, the public gets. And it seems that the question on the lips of the nation at the moment is: “Will Bill be entering Eurovision?”

Well thanks to the demand created by online groups and petitions such as this one, Bill has decided to put himself forward for the next contest. And being the man of the people that he is, he’s going to let you choose his entry and will be working on some new songs which you will have the opportunity to vote for.

So if you’d like to see Bill step onto the Eurovision stage to the accompaniment of Terry Wogan’s wry commentary, and deliver a great UK entry for once, then keep watching the website for your opportunity to vote.

Oh, and while you’re waiting, why not grab a copy of the September issue of Maxim, which features an interview with Bill. It’s out nice and early at the end of this month.

94 Responses to “Eurovision”

  1. Matt Says:

    *gasps* I’ve always thought this would be an awesome idea!!! Belgian’s would always vote for us and the German’s wouldn’t have a clue whats going on! Scott Walker/Slayer Love Song for the win!

  2. Menno WIllemse Says:

    He has my vote! Down with Eurovised blandness! Also, he’s actually quite an accomplished musician, so he could actually put up a good show!

  3. Mike Says:

    Bill will be the only talented entry eurovision has had for years. I know I’ll vote for him!

  4. Ali Says:

    Nooooo Bill do not tarnish your stellar reputation by associating yourself in any way with this gruesome tatfest!

  5. Gareth Says:

    I’ll definitely be voting – and I might even watch this time!!!

  6. Ethan Says:

    I’m not sure if it would be appriopriate (people might see it more as a rip-off than parody) but I’d like a medley of famous Eurovision songs with bits messed with for comic effect. That’ll give all of Europe something to laugh at (namely, at the entries that were’nt from their country).

    Block voting has held us back in the past, but it also had a little to do with Daz Sampson. I hope this makes it through and that Bill enjoys the experience.

    Oh, and the songs that always win go verse, chorus, verse, chorus, semitone up, chorus.

  7. Brett Says:

    Human slaves in a eurovision contest?

    This news makes me amazingly happy. I can’t wait!

  8. JL Says:

    Excellent news!

  9. Christo Says:

    its gotta be cold neon research lab for such a special occasion!

  10. CHRIS Says:

    BILL…ON EUROVISION? I DONT THINK IT WILL WORK

  11. Tony Rudd Says:

    Bill!

    great to see you’ve decided to take the plunge and go for Europop glory!

    Will it be just yourself, or an entry by Beergut 100? I think that your band would do really well…especially if you persuade that Eldon fellow to dress up as me. That would surely score you a few extra ‘pois’, in particular from; Bosnia-Herzogovena, Ireland, Estonia, Norway, and Cyprus.

    If you need some lyrical help from my legendary self then please don’t hesitate to ask.

    I think you should follow Israels lead from 1978, and do a tribute to the benefits of being a Polar Bear…or how about the Dutch 1989 entry ‘Blijf Zoals Je Bent’?

    I await your excited response

    Tony x

  12. Heather Says:

    This may result in me voting in Eurovision for the very first time!!!!

  13. Jason from Darwen, Dingleland Says:

    What a fantastic idea. Its a comedy festive as it is. That Finnish entry won it a couple of years ago with a rock anthem. All Bill has to do is copy them and remove the scary make-up!
    How about a love ballard similar to the one he played on Half Troll.

  14. J Says:

    Ah yes, Bill best represent us! Be the best entry the country has even known!

  15. Mat Bettinson Says:

    Haha, that’s a simply fabulous idea. With the nutso political voting in the East more or less ensuring that we never see any genuine success, coupled with the fact that the whole thing is only really enjoyable as a farce (beutifully capped off by appropriately tongue-in-cheek commentary from Sir Wogan); we might as well have a bit of fun with the whole thing right?

    What we need is some lyrics incorporating a send up of Eurovision itself. Don’t let us down Bill!

  16. Darren Says:

    Bill entering the eurovision would be a fantastic idea… Songs with titles such as “Ode to a troll” or “Biscuits: Omen or Angels”… If Bill gets through to the finals, he’d have to win… Most countries sing about hope, peace and I think I translated one of last years entries to be about sandwich toasters… Lets get some real music on there…

    DO IT FOR THE JEDI!!!!!

  17. Alpesh Patel Says:

    Fantastic entrant!

    A stroke of genius, we’d definately win The Eurovision.

  18. Stu Says:

    Time to tell the whole of Europe about human slaves…IN AN INSECT NATION!!! [oh-ah-oh-ah].

  19. Craig Davies Says:

    Bill you have got to do it, it would be awesome and the song should be you song of racial harmony about zebras and badgers!!

  20. Emma Tysoe Says:

    Yeah nice one I can’t wait :o)

  21. Alisdair Says:

    DO IT DADDY!

  22. Heather Sheppard Says:

    YES.

    That is all.

  23. Adam Dullenty Says:

    Hahaha! brilliant! I reckon in all my experience of Bill’s comedy songs and the opinions of lots of fellow fans, the Love Ballad is the most universally funny song and generally the most entertaining, lyrics wise.

    You better play the Love ballad Bill… that’d be truly excellent :)

  24. EDZ Says:

    I think a dance/rock cross over reworking of Waterloo with Bill dressed as the Duke of Wellington would work.

  25. Nadine Mogford Says:

    WoooHooo!! Power to the people! Finally some talent in the Eurovision.

  26. PAsTA Says:

    Well in the end, it had to be either you or Otway…

    Duelling Theramins, perhaps?

  27. Tim Says:

    hahaha brilliant news! i reckon just do a rendition of the french seriens, it would get us some votes from then that way. we may even stand a chance of winning! or cockney music with full perealy king intro would be good, but i think top of my list for ideas would be The Portishead national anthem. Definatlay.

    Watched Part Troll 3 times today :)

    Tim

  28. Kev Says:

    Excellent stuff. I’m just glad i’m living in Ireland so I’ll get to vote for you. I’ll be telling everyone to vote for the UK next year. (That will be a first) Best of Luck Bill.

  29. Vicki Says:

    AWESOME!!!! Can’t wait to see you in November YAAAYYYYY

  30. Sarah Says:

    oh yes! excellent news! finally someone that will give us a chance! this will mark a new beginning! an end to our seemlesly endless reel of useless rubbish that we usually have!

  31. Alec Oddly IV Says:

    Go ON Bill You can doooo eeeeeet :)

  32. Stefan Says:

    Bill, you are a genius! Eurovision is going to be great now! Thanks

  33. David Says:

    It’s got to be a rendition of the real full length Magic Roundabout, complete with Zebedee’s tale of macabre and childhood suffering!!

  34. Dave Says:

    Bill, Im glad you listnened to us!! I dont know how the petition came into force, but I started a mini one on myspace…

    http://forum.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=messageboard.viewThread&EntryID=37979696&categoryID=0&groupID=100280503

    I dont know if someone came up with the same idea at the same time or what, but there we go! Btw, we’ll be at the gig in manchester in november with a ‘Bill Bailey for Eurovision’ banner, look out for us!!

    COME ON!!!

  35. Stan Says:

    You need to make a song about how fixed eurovision is, that would be great!

  36. Kian Ryan Says:

    Dear Bill.

    The last interesting thing on Eurovision was Lordi. They were indeed awesome and shall remain burned into my mind for breaking the Eurovision mold.

    Please, please, please enter. We may not stand a chance (not since Iraq anyway), but it’ll make Eurovision worth watching again!

    Kian Ryan

  37. Tom McShane Says:

    YES!

    I think this could be the first decent Eurovision entry we’ve seen in years!

    Yeah yeah, I know we’ve not seen what Bill’s put forward yet, but watch all the musical bits in his live stuff.

    Priceless.

  38. Jo Says:

    The only problem i see facing our rise to Bailey Eurovision Victory (BEV) is all the little old grannies that will undoubtedly vote for the sweet little baby faced fuckwits that try to melt hearts!!! I say we formulate a plan to stop this mass of rogue grannies from stealing our BEV away from us!

  39. richie boars Says:

    Bill for eurovision? Awesome news!
    I reckon this could be a great chance to do a duet with de burgh! Just imagine, the great bearded one and the mono-browed purveyor of ultimate filth together at last! No maybe not.

  40. Ezz! Says:

    This is pure genius, if bill could also manage to put subliminal messages into the music… he could then control Europe! well most of it. Besides… it will make the programme so much more enjoyable! (tho terry brings everyone plenty of joy) xxxxxx

  41. Kate Says:

    I can only think of one problem… is Bill not too talented??

  42. Sketchy b Says:

    Go Bill, go! a superb choice for the eurovision song contest, should be a class act.

  43. James D Says:

    dude you rule. thanks so much for bowing to the pressure created online, it has certainly been a long and hard fight to get your attention. You’ll get my vote and as many people i can persuade!!!!!!!!

  44. Tom Says:

    Go for it bill. You have got my backing. Knock em dead

  45. Tamsin Says:

    This is the best thing for the UK since the invention of cheese.

    I doubt we can win since it’s such a political competition.
    Maybe if Bill sings about how every other country in the competition is better than England (in each countries language), whilst crying about how he hates England, we will stand a fighting chance.

    Either way, win or enevitably lose Eurovision will be good entertainment for once. Maybe we can get The Mighty Boosh to do a song for 2009.

  46. Simon Says:

    How about some Prog Rock?

    I for one would welcome some 30 minute Eurovision Prog. Surely a niche market that could make you as big as ABBA! And I don’t mean the same weight as 4 Scandavians!

    Peace
    Simon

  47. leyton Says:

    OMG this is like a dream come true
    haha!

    you have to do a mix between Kraftwerk and slayer

    maybe

    kraftwerk – Das Model with slayers – chemical warfare bill bailey mix. we’ll defo get germany’s. haha

    C’MON BILL!! YOU CAN DO IT!!

  48. Bev Says:

    That is awesome… I can’t believe he is actually doing to do it! Seriously, it’s about time Eurovision got some talent on it. I might even watch it… Bill Bailey just gets funnier and funnier! I’m well impressed.

  49. Hawks Says:

    Stand up for the key change bill!

  50. Paul Williams Says:

    If he doesn’t put his name forward for Eurovision, I will sell my tickets for his Wembley Arena gig! (Ssshyeah right!)

    “Ride a white pig to the edge of Lapland…”

  51. Stephen Says:

    Brilliant, good on you Bill!!

    Oh it would make me smile to see europe singing along with “i will not look at titties for a year”!!

    Best of luck Bill.

  52. Bobbie Says:

    I think the Kraftwerk tribute would go down extraordinarily well – particularly with the Germanic nations!

  53. Stuart Says:

    Excellent news!

    I look forward to an entry that will make us cry with laughter and hum along for days afterwards.

    Contrary to one opinion I read above, I feel that the supertonic modulation could only ruin such a song, and that you should avoid this at all costs. Or do a stevie wonder and do it three times instead :)

    Good luck Mr Bailey, I will certainly be cheering you on

  54. Lisa Jane Says:

    This is amazing news!! Can’t wait :)

  55. Dan Says:

    I’d like to see a full length version of the BBC News theme remix from Part Troll… it makes my hair stand on end every time I watch it!

    Best of luck Bill!
    Dan

  56. Jennifer Moss Says:

    I am so very happy i could wee!

    Jenni

  57. Lewis Aitken Says:

    My god! best idea ever!
    you can do it bill i believe in you. even if some countrys wont know what you’re on about, u have my vote!

  58. Sayda Says:

    Wonderful Idea! I suggest something Meatloafesque! That’s always a crowd pleaser.

  59. dan edgcumbe Says:

    That’s great. You should try and do a cover of a good rock song like Sillyworld by Stone Sour.

  60. Adam Says:

    Amazing news! Don’t do a cover like some of these people are saying, make something up! Or use one of your songs you’ve already made. I’d love to see what the German would think of Das Hokey Kokey :)

  61. Becky Says:

    Wow – joining your group on facebook really has made a difference. Go Bill I’m 100% sure you would definitely win Eurovision and I just can’t wait for the comments that Terry Wogan would have to make on your performance!

  62. Nathan Green Says:

    Yay! im so glad to hear that bill is entering the eurovision song contest! its about time we need some decent material in it!

  63. Nick Says:

    Truly there is a god and my prayers have been answered!

    Got to agree with a poster who said slayer love song for the win. I also suggest Sirens as it’s well euro innit.

    Bill, if you ever read this, I salute you!

  64. Leo Chilcott Says:

    this is the best thing to come out of england,

    if this goes through i will be proud to be British

    it also makes up for the abomination that is the Olympics logo

    damn that logo…

  65. Ben Says:

    Bill is the ideal eurovision entry for england; not only is he incredibly British but he would perfectly suit eurovision, an institution that has been parodying popular music for years… right?

  66. Jack C Says:

    Go for it, Bill! If any artist has a chance of actually winning us Eurovision, you do!

    Ultimately, I reckon you’ll make the right choice whatever you do, but a polished version of Insect Nation using new technologies such as the effects pedal you used in Part Troll and/or the good old theremin would be brilliant.

  67. Rich P Says:

    Ah, tremendous news. May I suggest a possible link up with Neil Hannon of the Divine Comedy? He has written some cracking stuff such as “My Lovely Horse” for Father Ted. Perhaps a french jazz version of that a la Dr Qui would go down well? Mon beau cheval…

  68. Sam Says:

    Hahaha! This actually gives me a reason to watch (and to vote) EuroVision for once.

    Go Bill!!

  69. Nessie Jones Says:

    Bill- I advise you to steer clear of any sudden clothes removal as part of your euro routine. Although this vote grabber was incredibly successful in the year of the mighty ‘Fizz’ it is now considered passe. Pure musical genius and the odd ‘Oi! Oi!’ should clinch it for you this time.

  70. Lee Says:

    Good luck Bill. The nation will be rooting for you.

  71. Ibiso Says:

    I’m going to have to completely disagree with everyone… Bill, don’t do it! Eurovision will surely ruin your credibility… I would never want to mention your name and Gina G in the same breath – it would just be wrong! OK, so what if you win, who’s to say that pop won’t go to your head… what if some Stock Aiken Waterman wanna-be walked up to you and offered you millions as long as they got to write the lyrics for you. And then you’d be in some mad music video wearing leather pants and velvet tops in some reminiscent David Hasselhoff fashion… it would just be wrong!! But if you did enter, I’d vote for you, but don’t expect me to sit through the 4 hour Terry Wogan fronted ordeal, I’d watch for the few minutes you were on and tune in again when you win.

  72. Marie Says:

    YAY

    *Does little dance of Bailey-esque joy*

    I’m so excited my squeeeeeeeeeee has just deafened a whole species of bat and it’s future decendents.

  73. PiratePixie Says:

    omgomgomg.

    YESSSS!

  74. Alastair Says:

    I thought this was just a hoax, never believed it would really happen. Such awesome news!

    If you’re going for any classic BB songs, then it’s got to be The Leg Of Time or Unisex Chip Shop.

  75. Helen Says:

    Bill
    How very splendid
    This is unimaginably exciting
    Can I be a backing singer?

  76. Bella Says:

    Hats off to the zebras!! such a classic song

  77. JhonJhon Says:

    I heard about this and couldnt believe it. Then I joined the facebook petition and had to.

    If you ever do, Im going to get every lad i can in the barracks to dial in, although, I might have to pull them out of whatever barrel they’ve fallen into!

    Best of Luck with it!

    (For my favorite choice, I’d have to go for “Hats off to the Zebra’s”. But please, just don’t cover someone else’s song!)

  78. Ed Says:

    It would be perfect.

  79. kelsie Says:

    This is the best news this year, why have the BBC not picked up on this more?? I want to see it in the headlines – when are the first heats?

  80. Jem Says:

    Thank goodness for the arrival of talent this time round! Bill would be perfect- he’s so talented! I’ll certainly vote for him! I can’t stop grinning now!

  81. bob dylan Says:

    two words…
    racial harmony :D

  82. Kevin Foad Says:

    INSECT NATION!!!

  83. Lise Says:

    Love song! Love song! Or Insect Nation! Gotta be! w00t!

    Imagine the Europeans’ confusion, ahaha…

    Ah man I love Bill Bailey!

  84. nick Says:

    Haha awesome, i might watch something other than the voting for once. I reckon he should do ‘I will not look at titties for a year’…Plus it has a go at America, and all of europe hates America…in fact my fiancee hates America, and she’s from Alabama..yeh but that’s a friggin awesome song, and it’d make for good votes.
    I notice it’s been almost 2 months since the last comment, so is Bill still in the running, i don’t really keep much track of the Eurovision

  85. Ria Says:

    Hats off to the zebras! Eurovision is the ideal place for promoting racial harmony *grin*

  86. Kirsty Says:

    BILL!!!!!!! DO IT!!!!!!
    WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

  87. Kenneth Says:

    Just saw the entries for Eurovision 2008… and you’re not in it!

    It has been reported it clashes with your schedule but could you do it for 2009?

  88. Zoya Says:

    I just checked the bbc website and it looks like Bill isn’t in the run-in for Eurovision. What happened?

  89. Task283 Says:

    What happened!! only 1990 votes, it cant be true? I personally forwarded the link to about 300 people!!!

    Never mind there will always be next year.

    Sniff sniff, it would’ve been worth it for Terry’s commentry, i gues we’ll have to pin all our hopes on Ireland, good luck Dustin!

  90. Lorne Grabowski Says:

    This is the best idea in a age, “Human slave’s” would be funny as, but he might not get many points thinking about it. Ahhhhahhhaahaaa =)

  91. Dan Says:

    the bbc show to choose enterants is on tonight and no bill, guess he’s not made the cut :(

  92. Andrija Stamenkovic Says:

    I can’t believe that he didn’t make the cut.
    I’m from sweden so I just heard about that he only got 1990 votes…
    What the hell did everyone do in England?! Did you get high and phoned wrong to other peoples houses?!
    Damn the goolish people of the foggy Island.

    Anyhow, I hope he gets enough votes for 2009. And I’ll get BBC just so I can vote.

    (Love song for the win!)

  93. Gash Says:

    Fantastic news! I reckon a fab micky take from meatloaf’s bat out a hell would really confuse everyone!

  94. flup makintosh Says:

    DO IT. that is all.

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