Bill's UK tour is now sadly over, and for the many of you who are only just recovering from the audio-visual comedic assault that was Tinselworm, you may be slightly dismayed to find yourself slap bang in front of a certain festive holiday, with all kinds of gift-related worries. Others of you may be experiencing a slightly empty feeling, something akin to a factory rejected Kinder Surprise that is sans toy, and are looking for a way to recapture the Tinselworm experience. Luckily for all of you, help is at hand.

As you are probably aware, the official site now features an entirely digitised version of Bill's head, and in the new merchandise shop located somewhere behind his right eye is a host of treasures large enough to conceal the base of even the largest Christmas tree, and fill several hundred Kinder eggs. Yes, that's right... the Tinselworm Tour Merchandise is now available to buy online.

So if you didn't manage to pick up a Tour Programme at the gig, then now's your chance to get hold of it (complementary badges, plectrums, Das Hokey Kokey CD and all). Perhaps you could spend this winter reading it by the fireside as you sit cosily in your Tinselworm T-Shirt and sip cocoa from the official Tour Mug. Or if sticking it to the man is more your thing, then you might prefer the anti-corporate "I Ain't Gonna Be Your Bitch" T-Shirt and Mug combo (which, like all of the tour merchandise, are made using ethical and fairtrade products). Amongst the other items available are Tinselworm Button Badges and BB Signature Plectrums - great for stocking fillers or (top tip coming up...) hiding inside Kinder eggs as a suprise for the true BB fanatic.

All of the previous merchandise, including the recently released 'Many Moods of Bill Bailey' songbook, is also still available in the shop. And what with all the audio and video goodies that are concealed within the corridors of Bill's new online-mind, you should find plenty to occupy yourself with over the long winter evenings. Happy holidays...

A quick message to reassure anyone who tuned into Never Mind the Buzzcocks over the last few weeks to find an unexpected figure in Bill's chair. It was not, as some of you may have thought, a newly regenerated Bill (or "Second Bill" for all you Doctor Who fans), but was actually comedian and 'Mighty Boosh' creator Noel Fielding standing in for Bill while he was busy on tour.

This Thursday Bill will be back in his usual position, opposite the nowadays clean-shaven Phill Jupitus, to bring his much missed blend of off-beat humour and facial hair back to the show. Amongst the guests this week is comic actor and 'Das Hokey Kokey' performer, Kevin Eldon. Catch it on BBC2 on Thursday, at the usual time of 9pm.

Listen up folks, because time is short. If you're planning on showering your loved ones with Bill Bailey related gifts then you have until 10pm tomorrow, Tuesday 18th, to place your merchandise orders in time for UK Christmas delivery. All orders received after this date will be dispatched in the week commencing 7th January 2008. The BBm office (which handles the orders) will be closed from Friday December 21st to January 7th, so if you have any queries then be sure to get in touch this week.

On a slightly disappointing note, if you're itching to get your hands on the Tinselworm DVD, then you'd better keep scratching for a while, as distributor Universal are planning to release it late next year to better suit their PGP window of opportunity. This may change however, so stay tuned for updates.

Finally, all that remains is to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Or if you prefer, a Happy Christmas and a Merry New Year. Perhaps we'll all wake up in 2008 to find ourselves living in the future. Or, if the coming of the New Year remains true to form, it'll just turn out to be the present but with all of us slightly older. But never mind... just savour the present, enjoy your presents, and may you find both happiness and merriment throughout the entire holiday season/Primary Gifting Period.